euthymia (euthymia) wrote,

Where we are now

So it's pretty clear that I have been in a major depressive episode since at least mid-November. Never been in such depths for so long. Incredible pain, nothing I would wish on my worst enemy. But it has lifted a notch or two in the past week. Relief can never come quickly enough, but it's creeping up at least.

I have been given a new med to try, by my GP. I've been on it for 8 days now, and have seen some improvement, but am still in antidepressant start-up mode. Things can get kind of weird during that phase when your system is getting used to the new chemistry.

Other things I am doing that help move my progress along are:

Writing in my journal, the paper one that is. Really good for quelling rumination. If I have something I am ruminating on, I write it down in the journal. Seems to excuse my brain from having to grind on it.

Seeing a talk therapist for the first time since 2005. This guy is at Earth Circles in Oakland, which is in a cool old sprawling Craftsman style house in Piedmont. Lots of plants and a Buddha statue on the porch.

Meditating, both in the BPI "running energy" style and in simple Zen deep breathing style. Also been listening to guided meditations on various media players. Jon Kabat-Zinn's body scan from the CD included with his book is a favorite, although it often puts me to sleep, but that is not a bad thing.

I've found lots of wisdom in books. Unstuck by James Gordon was recommended by my therapist and has lots of good depression maintenance tips. He's kind of knee-jerky about meds, but the suggestions are good.

The Depression Book by Cheri Huber kind of leaped off the shelf at me at Rocket Reuse. It's about using the depressive episode as a catalyst for spiritual growth.

How To Survive The Loss Of A Love is something I picked up just this evening. Good advice and poetry. Funny retro '70's cover design on the Bantam Books edition I got, but I see they updated it a while back.

Mom and I put our heads together and came up with better wording for the rental unit ad, and the results have been pretty encouraging. One guy I liked has applied, and I showed it to a nice young couple today. More people are on the way Saturday. Looks like we might have a market rate tenant lined up by the end of the month after all.
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